What Would A Bollywood Remake Of Schitt’s Creek Look Like?

A Canadian award-winning (nominated for 15 Emmys, the highest for a comedy series in its final season, including one for 'Outstanding Comedy Series') by Dan and Eugene Levy, Schitt's Creek is about a top-one-percent-wealthy family, Johnny and Moira Rose, with two spoilt-brats for children, David and Alexis. The show starts with them becoming bankrupt overnight and having to move to a small town, Schitt's Creek. Having lived in a palatial mansion, they now have to live in the local grungy motel. The 6 seasons of the show follows how they not only reconcile but find moments of joy and abandon, as individuals, and as a family in this town, with unlikely friends and unlikelier lovers.

Also Read: Quiz: How Well Do You Know Schitt's Creek?

If it were to be adapted to Hindi (which we both fear, and hope), this would be our dream cast. 

Pankaj Tripathi as Johnny Rose

The affectionate father of the household (but by no means a patriarch), who loves his vain wife and accepts his snooty kids to a fault, Johny Rose is a character that has difficulty being stern, and thus being listened to. He's entrepreneurial, always dressed to the nines, and is the ever-optimist. Pankaj Tripathi post Gunjan Saxena has been hailed Dad-Of-The-Year. Plus, we think his eyebrows are quite bushy, like those of Eugene Levy who played the character, and whose expressive eyebrows often provided comic relief. 

Rekha as Moira Rose 

She's a yesteryear soap opera sensation. But in her head, Moira Rose still thinks she's The-Shit. Her obsession with her wigs is the most funny, running gag on the show. She wears silk and pearls like no one, and each of her hairdos is as ridiculous and radical as the last. If we are to go by Rekha's red carpet looks and gaze, she's the only one who can play this character of both glamor and guts, with a veneer of delusion.  

Rajkummar Rao as David Rose

The character of David Rose is gay, and despite being in a small town, there is never a single homophobic comment thrown his way. This was by design, almost flipping the narrative of the homophobic rural belt. David Rose is a spoilt-brat with an innate fashion compass of what works and doesn't. He wears kilts and sweaters during Summer because… that's fashion. Rajkummar Rao might just be able to bring this together, a self-centred, talented, spoiled, yet loving man-child. Besides, Rao rollicking in a kilt? Why not!

Sonam Kapoor as Alexis Rose

She's the luminous but unintelligent daughter of the Roses, who can be both distant and cloying. She name drops like it's no one's business and yet everyone flocks to her. She takes after her mother in style, always dressed and made up, glossed and coated. Sonam Kapoor might be the perfect actress to play this sentient, yet aloof character, and what more can one say about her fashion that her Instagram hasn't already said? 

Konkona Sen Sharma as Stevie Budd 

Stevie Budd is the clerk at the motel that the Roses' are staying in. She's a sorted, 20-something with a 40-something clarity, who prefers her overalls and flannel to dresses. She's unvarnished, and knows exactly what to say and when, and when shit hits the fan, she's a riot! Konkona Sen Sharma has the same calm-composed air, and if we are to go by the moments when she goes berserk in Wake Up Sid, she'll be perfect here. Though Sharma might be a bit older given this character's age on the show, I think her presence would bring in a refreshing perspective. 

Naseeruddin Shah as Roland Schitt

Roland Schitt is the lovable, annoying, nutty mayor of Schitt's Creek, who does not know what to say, and when. His childlike temperament reminds me a bit of Ferdinand Pinto from Finding Fanny which Naseeruddin Shah played to the hilt, though this character will require him to be a lot more unnerving

Dimple Kapadia as Jocelyn Schitt

Dimple Kapadia would be perfect for this role- the supportive wife of the impossible mayor, a school teacher who sometimes needs to be schooled herself, and the head of the local all-female acapella group. It's one of those castings you can clearly imagine- the part-tired, part-excitable, all round large-hearted Jocelyn. 

Rana Daggubati as Mutt Schitt

Mutt is the bearded, hot-hippie who lives in a barn, a thick mop on his head. He's also surprisingly, the son of Roland and Jocelyn. Rana Daggubati, would give this role, of a mysterious town romeo, a run for its money. 

Vicky Kaushal as Ted Mullens

He's the softie, town veterinarian, the one who speaks to animals when no one's looking, and smiles from ear to ear, proposes for marriage in a jiffy, but doesn't resent the rejection. Vicky Kaushal's quiet charms might find a good house in Mullens. 

Amit Sadh as Patrick Brewer 

He comes into David's life as a business partner, to help him set up his boutique and manage it without running it to the ground with his extravagant instincts. His shirt is always tucked, his numbers crunched, and his intentions, noble. Amit Sadh might be able to bring his straight-passing charm to life. Besides I think Rajkummar Rao and him might look quite good together- balance sheets, or the other kind of sheets. 

Kiara Advani as Twyla Sands

She's the ditzy, caring waitress at the local cafe, who often life-coaches Alexis without knowing it. Kiara has both the lost gaze and the wattage-smiles to give this character the exact amount of depth and ditz it needs. 

Gajraj Rao as Robert "Bob" Currie

Bob is the owner of a garage, and also a member of the town council. He's quite lonely since his wife left him, but always hopeful she'll return. There's an inherent innocence and simplicity in him that Gajraj Rao is perfect for. 

Ratna Pathak Shah as Veronica "Ronnie" Lee

The feisty member of the town council, she speaks her mind, and everyone listens, out of fear, but also because she makes the most sense. Ratna Pathak Shah is perfect to play this character, fierce and fastidious. Her primary modes of expression are eye-rolls and death-stares. She's the town's no-nonsense lesbian, and Shah would be just right!