Language: Tamil

Cast: Jiiva, RJ Balaji, Nikki Galrani

Director: Kalees

Ignore awards and acclaim, but Kee stands to achieve a distinction few films today can compete for. Its lead character may go down in history as Tamil cinema’s most “stalkerish” hero—web category. Now, I know that it’s a highly competitive honour but listen to this; Siddu (a Jiiva you feel sorry for) has devised a hacking tool that allows him access to people’s mobile phones and he uses it to hit on women. His pickup line? It goes something like… “I know everything about you. Even what type of Victoria Secret bra you’re currently wearing, its size and even how much it costs.” Not creepy enough? What if I tell you that it actually works and he gets the girl? He even gets to wink figuratively at the audience after and deliver a line which translates roughly to, “if you touch a woman’s heart, she will let you touch her anywhere.” So touching, no?

Kee is what you’d call a WTF goldmine; precious gems like these are unearthed every five minutes or so, like the scene where Siddu’s super-friendly father has a breakdown and starts crying. Why? Just because his wife asked him why he spoils their son. Which is still okay compared to the film’s main villain. He too is a hacker and he runs a call centre-like operation where he hacks into people’s electronics and either gets them killed or gets them to kill. Makes sense? So for fun, he takes over a man’s pacemaker and messes with it till he dies. Ever listen to ‘Quit Playing Games With My Heart’, bad guy?

And then Siddu goes on to score another girl. What kind of world is this where a pervy hacker gets every girl he wants and we’re all just sitting here writing reviews about it? The jokes aren’t funny, there’s absolutely no tension and there’s obviously going to be little room for action in a film that’s basically about one guy trying to outhack the other. I wish I could hack into the film’s pacemaker and make it beat it a little.

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