I wasn’t keen on becoming an actor
There was such great stuff being written about me after Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi, but I just did not know if I wanted to carry on being an actor. So I went back home and had a baby. I was in that mode of life. I liked being at home, I wanted to start a family and be a mother. Even before getting married, I knew I wanted to be a mother. I wasn’t feeling so ambitious. I want to tell a lot of women out there who feel very stressed about the fact that they need to be ambitious all the time and constantly climb the ladder that it’s okay. It’s okay to not be ambitious all the time.
I missed out on two very big films during my break
Kangana (Ranaut) herself has spoken about the fact that I was offered Tanu Weds Manu before she went on to star in the film. But destiny has its ways. When I saw that film I did think “yaar mujhe yeh karni thi. What have I done?” But beyond that it wasn’t like what is she doing! I could’ve done the film better. No, it wasn’t ever like that.
The break gave me time to introspect
I have learnt that I am an emotional person and I can’t change who I am intrinsically. I am led by my feelings. I can’t be logical and practical and strategize my life. Even today, I’m the kind of person who will just up and go meet my parents in Meerut if I feel like. It may not sound professional but that’s who I am. I’ve realised though that today it’s so important to be visible so that people know what you are doing. So I’m now on social media. This time over I want to do everything in a more focussed and disciplined manner. I need to tone down the emotional end of me.
If you are craving for life lessons go try and produce a film
Playing producer to Soorma was the most challenging role of my career. It took two and a half years of my life at a time when I was feeling completely lost. It was the most challenging and therefore also the most rewarding thing I’ve done in my career. I’m enjoying that my mind is working 24/7 with ideas and creative stuff. I met Sandeep Singh in 2014 and that’s when the journey started. After which I had to get the director on board, I had also written the story. We ran into roadblocks with permission and budget constraints that cramped up our schedules. So there was something happening every single day. I was pretty hands on with Shaad (Ali) as far as the creative was concerned.
I keep telling my stylist I don’t want hot clothes. Give me loose easy clothes.
It’s easily to get slotted in the film industry. My first film was an off beat film and because I was so convincing in the part and people knew so little about me they assumed that that was me. I wake up in cotton saris with my hair in a bun and kajal in my eyes! Sometimes when you are playing a girl next door and suppose your sensuality or your face is a bit distracting to the character then I suppose you don’t fit the part. I want to look pretty and I want to keep it easy.
Female actors are not taking crap anymore
Things have changed so much for female actresses in the industry today. People were telling me that I should also come forward and take names to be part of the #MeToo movement. But I just feel it isn’t important to come to the media and make headlines to be part of the movement. If you make a choice of walking away from something that’s a bigger movement. I can tell you one thing for sure, the girls these days are definitely not taking that much crap anymore and things are a lot better for female actors now. Even thought it comes without a hashtag or headlines we are moving in the right direction.