Best One-Liners By Vir Das

Team FC

There might be a day in your life when you need to go to therapy when you need help, and that's okay. Maybe you have a loss, maybe you have a heartbreak. Me? I did a movie called Mastizaade.

I honestly think that if one of our major celebrities took a photograph of a cup of sperm, our major newspapers would publish it as an article about a future star child.

The first thing you must drink when you come to our country is Old Monk Rum. Non-Indians, this is just diplomacy in a bottle. If we find a foreigner who likes Old Monk, we'll just give them a fucking passport.

I grew up in the universe of cornflakes. Cornflakes has three active ingredients – Corn, Flakes, Sadness

Politicians are just DJs, we’re the idiots dancing.

I Come From An India Where We Bleed Blue Everytime We Play Green But Everytime We Lose To Green We Turn To Orange.

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